How to Be a Bride and Still Smash the Patriarchy (Part 5)

"This is supposed to be fun." The florist might as well have said, "What is wrong with you?" and handed me a wearable sandwich board reading "DEFECTIVE BRIDE/WOMAN/HUMAN." I was sitting across the table from her, my mom on my left, talking about flowers for my wedding—and I was in tears. I was ashamed of …

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How to Be a Bride and Still Smash the Patriarchy (Part 4)

Y'all, I love weddings. I always have. I laugh, I cry, I become girlier than I thought possible for a (kind of) recovering tomboy. I have loved going to dress fittings with girlfriends, and I love seeing what choices brides make about what they wear, what flowers they choose, and so on—not because I'm eager …

How to Be a Bride and Still Smash the Patriarchy (Part 3)

One time, I was with a group of people that included a young, engaged couple and an older, married couple. The older woman, an old-school feminist, was talking to the younger woman about getting married. Suddenly she got animated: "You aren't going to take his name, are you?!" The younger woman started, then replied, "Actually, …